The reason we struggle with insecurity...

A few weekends ago I had the privilege of attending a ladies retreat.  The theme was joy.  And can't we all use reminders of true joy from time to time?  And as a new mother, experiencing both incredible amounts of joy and exhaustion alike, this was very timely for me.

I could write many posts on the wonderful lessons learned from our speaker, Teske Drake, but there was one topic she spoke on that my mind keeps coming back to.  The topic of insecurity.

I struggle with insecurity.  Insecurity about my appearance.  My roles in life.  In my relationships.  My personality.  My abilities.

And I don't think I am alone.

Teske shared a quote with us ladies that turned a light bulb on for me:

Oh so true!  Can I get an amen?! 

And just how easy does social networking make it?  Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram are basically a never ending highlight reel of others' lives.  So many, if not all, of my insecurities stem from comparing myself to others- especially to what I often perceive as "perfection".

But the truth is that we are "perfectly and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:13).  I think we often respond to this with an "oh, that's great, but..." attitude.  I know I do!  We don't seriously contemplate and rest on the fact that you ARE made for a wonderful, divine purpose that only you can fulfill.  And the best part of this is God wants to use both your highlight reel and your behind the scenes to bring Him glory! Yes, the highlight reel is more fun to share.  We get accolades in the form of "likes" and nice comments.  The behind the scenes can be harder and scary to share.  But in being transparent we have the chance to also point to the one who wipes our sins clean and gives us hope in our struggles- Jesus Christ.  Giving HIM the glory!

I am not suggesting we all post to Facebook with every argument in our marriages or every time we are frustrated with motherhood.  Behind the scenes stuff can also be personal and I encourage you to lift your husband and children up, not tear them down (Proverbs 14:1).  But pray for discernment on when to give a little tour of your behind the scenes for the sake of other's security, but more importantly, for the sake of the gospel!

Showing Respect to Your Husband

"...and let the wife see that she respects her husband." -Ephesians 5:33

One of the reasons I began blogging was because I just love the insights of other women who, like me, are striving to become more godly women and wives.  Blogs are a path for these women to express ways God is working in their hearts and the expression of these ideas helps God to work in the hearts of others.  More than crafts and decorating, this is what I have enjoyed the most about fellow bloggers. 

Chris and I went to a marriage conference this weekend (with Kirk Cameron...ahhhh teen heartthrobs....I digress).  We had been through pre marital counseling and have heard sermons on marriage before.  And this conference did not necessarily present anything new to us.  But I don't think you can ever hear enough what God's plan is for marriage.  Throughout everything we have read and heard, the theme that always resonates with me is just how much God calls us to live out the love and respect we have for each other through actions- going beyond the oooey gooey feelings- even when we don't want to.

I started following Faith's blog today and a previous post she had written reminded me of how imperative it is that we, as wives, live out, daily, the respect we are called to have for our husbands.  It is not enough to say we have respect for him, he needs to see it and feel it.  This, in turn, opens a door for God (not ME) to work in my husband's heart.  I just had to share this list she got from a book she is reading, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jayne.

1. Do not talk down to him

2. Do not talk badly about him to others

3. Do not check behind him to make sure he did something to your standard

4. Do not disregard his wishes

5. Do not ignore his requests

6. Do not laugh at his mistakes

7. Do not make him the brunt of your jokes

8. Do not compare him to other men

9. Do not complain about your finances or his ability as a provider

10. Do not speak sarcastically or with verbal jabs

11. Do not roll your eyes when he makes comments you don't agree with

12. Do not continually "have a better idea"

13. Do talk to him in a pleasant tone

14. Do speak highly or compliment him in front of others

15. Do allow him to do tasks his own way and then thank him when he is finished

16. Do value his opinions

17. Do support his decisions

18. Do try to fulfill his requests

19. Do thank him for providing for your family

20. Do allow him to make final decisions

21. Do support him in his decisions regardless of the outcome

22. Do avoid the words, "I told you so"

23. Do take care of your appearance

24. Do ask his opinion about your clothes/hairstyle etc...

25. Do tell him you are proud of him

 So many of them seem so...obvious, true.  But I know if I truly evaluate myself and my interactions with my husband, I fail at so many of these seemingly simple ways to show him respect.  It is an ongoing spiritual battle and satan sets out to convince us we need to manipulate our husbands.  But the beauty of it is we are already equipped with all we need, in Christ, to be the wives God is calling us to be.

Here is a shout out to my handsome husband, who works hard to provide, makes time for me, and is always looking for ways to better our marriage and his role as a husband! I am blessed!