Made it to Memphis- Leaving Des Moines

Well here I be.  Sleeping baby upstairs.  Husband at work for his first day.  A mostly put together house.  And a week and a half as a "Memphians" under our belts.  It has been a whirlwind 10 days, let me tell ya.  It seems like it has been so much longer than it really has been because it has been pretty nonstop.  We wanted to get our new home in order as fast as we could before Chris started work but we also wanted to enjoy the time we had (and the weather) before he started up being gone all day.

Although things have been going well here and we are settling nicely, I would be lieing if I said we have not felt homesick a few times.  I cannot stress enough how much we loved our life in Des Moines.  But as I related to in this post  being called to Memphis was undeniable.  That doesn't mean it was easy.  In fact it was extremely emotional and difficult.

We were so blessed to focus our last weeks on spending time with our loved ones, including having an early birthday party for Lydia (more on that later).

We were completely spoiled by our former coworkers who have set the bar very high for our future coworkers.   

Those would be warm, freshly baked cookies delivered straight to our office

You might be an eye doctor if...

I also was able to see many of my coworkers from my job at Des Moines Public Schools before we left. Man...we have worked with some great people, plain and simple.  Kicking myself for not taking pictures.

Our wonderful small group through us a going away party which landed on Super Bowl Sunday.  Once again, I will forever be kicking myself in the tushy for not taking pictures.  We later had dinner and just an overall great time with our dear friends, mentors and small group leaders Zach and Dawn.  I could go on and on about the impact they have had on our life and our walk with Christ.  Meeting them was no accident, but an intentional mark in our path I will forever be grateful for.

Us with Dawn and Zach, our small group leaders and amazing friends (Lydia was obviously not in the mood for

Lydia will certainly miss the Curry girls

We had a wonderful night with our friends Brandon and Sydney as well.  They cooked a delicious meal for us and we sat around just simply enjoying each other's company.  We met these sweet friends our first time at High Pointe Church and have been through many of the same struggles as we all endured a bumpy road to becoming mommies and daddies.  But as you see Sydney sitting their holding our miracle, she herself is growing THEIR miracle inside still due this summer!  Praises to the Lord who provides just the right relationships to encourage and support along the way.

Loving on Sydney

Snuggling with Brandon

Our last Sunday at High Pointe Church was, to say the least, difficult.  This is where Chris was saved and baptized.  This is where we were covered in prayer as we waited for our chance to have a child.  This is where I learned more than ever what it means to follow Christ as a women, wife and mother.  This is where we developed some of the deepest relationships we have had.  We love this church family and even if we don't see many of them again in this life, we find so much comfort in knowing we will after this life.

With pastor Greg, his wife Laura and their 5 beautiful children (Greg is the man who lead Chris to Christ, something we are forever grateful for.)

We were called to the front to be prayed over

Jaime- a great friend and encourager

Jessamyn and Sydney wanted to keep Lydia.   We said no.

He might kill me for sharing this but I have seen Chris cry 3 times in the entire time I have known him. When we found out I was pregnant.  When Lydia was born.  And when we left High Pointe for the last time.  He had a hard time even seeing the road through his tears!  So blessed by our time there.

And on our last night in Des Moines, we had a tiny parade of people come through.

Our friend Tarah stopped by with her baby boy Teague.  Teague and Lydia were born 2 days apart and Tarah and I labored literally 2 rooms apart.  As we were leaving the hospital with Lydia, Tarah was beginning labor.  What a sweet girl this friend is!

Zach stopped by for one last goodbye:

We enjoyed our favorite pizza ever...Casey's pizza.  I don't care if it is gas station pizza, we miss it already!

And, of course, some fun times with our friends Greg, Kristin and Cade and a visit from our other friend Kristen.  I also worked with Kristen on top of her being in our "friend circle".  She became a wonderful friend over our time in Des Moines.

Apparently we should have made the space under the stairs a clubhouse

Up to no good

Saying goodbye to Kristin and Greg was incredibly hard.  When we came to Des Moines, we knew people, but these 2 have been our go to friends/family.  Greg and Chris went to high school together and he was the best man in our wedding.  We have so many memories where they are in the center.  I know we will see them again and will maintain our friendship, but not being able to call them over whenever we want to hang out is already proving to be hard.

We packed up our home in Des Moines on February 12th.

We were able to have movers paid for thanks for Chris' new job and I cannot describe to you how wonderful it was.  Chris and I both agree we will never move without hiring professional help again.  Even if we do most of the packing ourselves, just having them load and unload is so worth the expense, especially with a baby.

It was just a house.  But we loved that house and so many memories I hold dear in my heart happened in that house.

Our first day in our first home,  June 2011

Our last day in our first home,  February 2014

After the movers were done, we still had a little cleaning to do for the new owners.  I would not even let what was happening completely sink in.  If I looked around and reminisced about a memory in this room or the work we did to that room, I knew I would lose it.  We left the house and grabbed a quick dinner then went back to get Samson before heading to my parents for the night.  I did not even go back inside.  I just stayed in the car while Chris went in to get Samson.  I knew it would be too hard on my very overly sentimental soul to go back in.  But as we pulled away, I lost it.

I said a prayer that God keep my focus on Him.  Not on a house, not on the life we were leaving behind.  But on the life we knew He had in front of us.  On keeping His plan, His will for our life in our fore thoughts and having those plans, that will be our greatest desire.  Within 5 minutes, I was done crying but still grasping my husband's hand as we headed down the road.

n him, we find everything we need.

I will be sharing what we have been up to since Memphis coming up!

Not All I Should Be

No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. Phil 3:13-14

This verse conjures up the image of Christ lifting me to my feet, brushing the dirt off my knees and saying to me “keep going”.  “I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me”, I think to myself as I take a step towards the prize.  I pick up speed, my momentum making it easier to take yet another step, then maybe a little hop and a skip.  “I can do this!” I exclaim, “I can keep the faith!”  I begin to feel super spiritual, fantastically faithful.  “Everyone look, I have got this figured out!”

And it is with that particular leap my legs give out and I am back on the ground.

Over the past few months, I have been asked to either speak, lead or write through a few different opportunities between others’ blogs, bible studies and our church’s women’s ministry.  I am being honest when I say each opportunity I pray about before I agree to do it.  I do not want to just be a yes person, especially when it comes to any kind of ministry or outreach.  If God does not want me to be a part of something, I know well enough to push aside my desire to be included and say no- and I actually have.  However, these opportunities gave me a wonderful push to dive into God’s word as I deeply desired to be gospel centered while I shared my heart.  I began to feel as though I was skipping along with Jesus, holding his hand while we sang the latest Jeremy Camp song together.

And then my talks were over, small groups and bible studies were on a break for the holidays and I was not feeling the urgency to study God’s word as strongly.  My skipping turned into a walk with maybe some bounce in my step.  We sold our house and had to start getting ready to move 10 hours away in 6 weeks.  I opened my bible and prayed with a feeling of obligation- slowing my walk to a labored pace.

One day it became very apparent I was no longer focusing my energies on being filled with the spirit when I said something pretty ugly about another person in front of my husband, Chris.  Bless his heart, he was quick to defend this person without making me feel too badly.  But I could not shake the thick, foul dust that covered my heart as the words “hypocrite” and “failure” relentlessly penetrated my mind.  My already labored walk was halted as I was brought to my knees with a self-inflected kick in the butt.

Embarrassed and ashamed, I asked for God’s forgiveness and then I asked for Chris’.  I was reminded just how ugly my heart truly is without Christ to wipe it clean.  And it is through seeking Him and His word daily we are able to resemble anything close to who He is. 

I went to His word to soak in what I needed- encouragement, renewal and the comfort of forgiveness.  When I turned to Philippians 3, I could almost feel that familiar, steady hand of Christ begin brushing the dirt off of me yet again.   Placing His strong arms under mine, lifting me up He said, “keep going”.

I am still not all I should be, dear friends.  But, even through tears of shame, I am looking forward to what lies ahead, straining to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.

Heading South

You know how in life it is very common to think to yourself "once (insert milestone here) happens, life will slow down".  I am so guilty of always trying to obtain that "thing" that will bring me more contentment.  God knows this.  Chris is the same way.  And we are married so you know the big man is going to hit this one hard.

And so he has!

Early last year, when I was about to pop with Lydia, Chris and I started rehashing an idea that had come up earlier in our marriage and shoved to the back burner when we moved to Des Moines from Chicago- the idea of Chris working as a faculty member at an optometry school.

Here is some background for you.  While he was in residency, Chris also taught/over saw students in the clinic environment as well as instructed in some labs.  Since residency, Chris has written and published several papers and given a handful of lectures.  Needless to say he has a passion and a true gift for teaching.

So this idea of Chris working for a school started popping up again.  We prayed on it but maybe not with as much intention as we should have.  We would talk about it, drop it, talk about it, drop it.  Then last fall, we realized we were just scared.  We had become comfortable with our new little family of 3, our social life, our jobs...just about everything and the fear of picking up everything and moving was keeping us investing in God's will- whatever it may be.

But we knew full well the promise Jesus provided for us in John 12:25:

Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

So with much more earnest prayer, Chris sent resumes out to a few schools.  We were praying and trusting that God would make it abundantly clear what his will was for us.

The next morning Chris heard back from the Southern College of Optometry in Memphis.  They wanted to do a phone interview with him, having 1 spot open in the exact department Chris would want to work in- ocular disease.  The end of September, Chris had his phone interview and by the middle of October we were in Memphis for an in person interview.

It happened fast and it happened easily but that is not to say I believe that God makes his will known through the path of least resistance.  Throughout the bible we are able to see just how hard the path which follows God can be.  From Abraham to the disciples- we have examples how difficult it really can be to seek the Lord's will.  The road maybe rough, but it is the only one without end.  I am not saying I know what it feels like to be persecuted in the least.  But, I do know that this impending decision would be extremely hard on our hearts, no matter how much things just happened to fall into place- which is precisely what happened.

I knew in the my heart they would love Chris and would see a very intelligent and passionate person and I had no doubt Chris would get the job.  The hard part to me was working through the "What is right for a our family?" thoughts.  Chris and I had thrown around pro after con and con after pro about any part of the situation.  It was daunting.

We truly enjoyed our time in Memphis and actually liked the area more than we thought we would.  I am not going to lie, the things I had heard about Memphis were not overly flattering but I my assumptions were wrong.  Just like any larger city, there are parts to try to stay away from but we lived in Chicago so are used to this idea.  As we drove around the suburbs and took in some of the sights, it became more and more a place I could see us living.  And I will tell you what, Lydia loved it!  Yes, yes I know she is a baby so how could she love a certain city?  Well, in true southern fashion, we couldn't walk by someone without them wanting to talk to our little girl and Lydia, being the flirt she is, just took it in with that little bashful smile I love.

The night before Chris' interview we went out to eat with some of the faculty members and it meant a lot to me they wanted me and Lydia to come too.  Chris fit right in with them all.  The next day during his interview, I was texting my brothers telling them to tell me it is okay if we move to Memphis.  With some big brother teasing thrown in there, they supported us 100%- just like I knew they would.  This support was needed because when I picked up Chris from his interview (it lasted all day), I could see in his eyes he liked what he saw.  The doctor he had done most of his interviewing with, Dr Reich, asked me if I wanted a tour of the school as well.  This again, scored points with me as it was made apparent Dr Reich knew this would be big for Lydia and me as well.

My sweet little lunch date during Daddy's interview

Less than a week later Chris was officially offered the job after being told it would probably be a couple weeks. All the details we needed to be met financially and benefits wise were there.  But, we decided to throw out the pro and con list and really try to focus on what God was telling us.  We could go all day long on what is best for our family but in the end, God knows and we knew we could trust Him not only to guide us, but to make His ways known.

With it being laid on his heart to do so, Chris accepted.  And with his signature on the dotted line, we officially made the hardest decision of our life.

Chris could start at anytime really, but they needed him at the latest July 1st.  If we didn't sell our house by then, we would have either had to rent it out from 10 hours away or just pay the mortgage while we continued to keep it on the market.  Shamefully, this was a huge stressor.  And I say shamefully because I am not sure how many times God needs to prove himself to us before we will know we do not need to worry about these things.

Chris had started finishing the basement earlier last year and just as the carpet was being put in, we put it on the market by owner.  We are so thankful for this timing as we knew selling houses with finished basements usually go easier.  However, we put our house up around Thanksgiving, the worst possible time to actually sell a house.  But prayed every night for a fast sell and tried to focus on all the other ways God had shown us he was blessing this move.  But as our human nature took over, we were disheartened without much interest through Christmas.  We had a couple showings, but that was it.  Houses started popping up for sale all over our neighborhood (odd considering it was December) with nearly our exact price and these were not FSBO so were advertised much more.  In an attempt to push aside my fears, I told Chris "well, the bigger the challenge, the more glory God gets".

The day after Christmas, barely 6 weeks after putting our house up for sale a couple who had looked earlier in the month called to say they sold their house and wanted to come look again.  Within 24 hours we had an agreed upon offer.  Whoa...

We were so incredibly thankful for this answered prayer of a fast sell and know it was further confirmation we were making the right choice.

So this February, Chris, Lydia and I are making our way from the corn fields of Iowa to Memphis, Tennessee to see what the Lord has planned for us there.  I am amazed at the things he continues to teach us, but I think what I am already learning more is that my contentment, my joy, is not to be found in anything in the world- but in Him alone.

My inner dialogue throughout this process has sounded like this: "I just wanted to know if we are staying or going, then I will feel better;  I just want to have someone look at our house, then I will feel better; I just want to sell our house; then I will feel better; I just want to get over the inspection; then I will feel better;  I just want closing to be over; then I will feel better."

It. Never. Ends.

And it never will if I keep placing something as heavy as my contentment and peace in the hands of something as fragile as this life and its ever changing circumstances.  Praise the Lord, I can go to Christ to fulfill these needs- my rock and redeemer.

I say this has been the hardest decision of our life but at the same time it has been one of the easiest as God has faithfully shown us the way and has been so good in our doubts and fear.  Because we know our future is safe with Him, we are excited to see what is to come!

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

And just because...the only other picture I took while in Memphis.  But more to come!

Baby Belly Laugh

Because everyone needs a little baby belly laugh to go with their day!

This was taken in Chicago and I have watched it several times.  Hearing your baby laugh- is there ANYTHING sweeter?

Build Into Each Other

The body of Christ is a powerful thing made powerful by Christ himself.  I have been a witness to this throughout my life but never more so than the past year and a half as God has graciously blessed Chris and I with a church home filled with Christ followers who truly desire to spread and live out the gospel- the good news.

Within this body, I have met several women I have come to admire.  Not because they are well liked.  Not because they know how to put an outfit together.  Not because they are beautiful.  Not because they seem to have it all together.  But because they truly seek to fulfill what Paul teaches in Titus 2-

Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Titus 2:3-4.  

This was recently the theme verse for a ladies event at our church, High Pointe.  Our speaker, Teresa Bair, was a missionary from Brazil on a year long furlough with her family.  She described the need for us women to "build into each other".  I have been dwelling on this phrase over and over again.  As Christians, we have a firm, solid rock of a foundation in what Christ has done for us.  Anything that is built on it will not be shaken.  This life will hurl rocks at it, but it will remain.  All the encouragement, lessons, examples which point others to Christ is only building onto the rock our faith is placed on.  

I am grateful to have ladies in my life who are building into me as I learn more and more just how strong my foundation, my savior, truly is.  I am the younger woman.  And you know what, I always will be.  When I am 60 I will still need the body of Christ to build into me.  But as I age physically, Lord willing, I hope to age spiritually and build into women coming after me.  

As we referred to it at our event- we need to "Titus 2" each other!

You're a good mom...

I saw this yesterday and had to post:

To the mom who's breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You're a good mom. 

To the mom who's formula feeding: Isn't science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn't produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You're a good mom.

To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You're a good mom.

To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it's excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You're a good mom.

To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn't easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You're a good mom.

To the mom who works: It's wonderful that you're sticking to your career, you're a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it's fantastic. You're a good mom.

To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you're too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You're feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren't complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You're a good mom.

To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they're learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can't run around. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don't they? We've all been through it. You're a good mom.

To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.

It is no secret that motherhood comes with a whole host of decisions that invite criticism and completely unsolicited advice.  I experienced this when I was pregnant and even more so now that Lydia is on the outside.  As wonderful and fulfilling as motherhood is (I seriously love it!)- there is so much more to it than I personally ever thought and I am sure I am not the only one.  It is hard enough having this person depend solely on you and your spouse without having others question your every move.  

But this is where I land whenever I am feeling inadequate as I look at other parenting styles- God chose ME to be Lydia's mom.  And God chose YOU to be your child's mother.  Isn't that awesome?  Rely on Him, friend.  

On the flip side, I have been blessed with many friends and even by the other mommies I barely know with loving, thoughtful and non-judgmental advice and I am so thankful for that!   I take what they say to heart.  

The reason we struggle with insecurity...

A few weekends ago I had the privilege of attending a ladies retreat.  The theme was joy.  And can't we all use reminders of true joy from time to time?  And as a new mother, experiencing both incredible amounts of joy and exhaustion alike, this was very timely for me.

I could write many posts on the wonderful lessons learned from our speaker, Teske Drake, but there was one topic she spoke on that my mind keeps coming back to.  The topic of insecurity.

I struggle with insecurity.  Insecurity about my appearance.  My roles in life.  In my relationships.  My personality.  My abilities.

And I don't think I am alone.

Teske shared a quote with us ladies that turned a light bulb on for me:

Oh so true!  Can I get an amen?! 

And just how easy does social networking make it?  Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram are basically a never ending highlight reel of others' lives.  So many, if not all, of my insecurities stem from comparing myself to others- especially to what I often perceive as "perfection".

But the truth is that we are "perfectly and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:13).  I think we often respond to this with an "oh, that's great, but..." attitude.  I know I do!  We don't seriously contemplate and rest on the fact that you ARE made for a wonderful, divine purpose that only you can fulfill.  And the best part of this is God wants to use both your highlight reel and your behind the scenes to bring Him glory! Yes, the highlight reel is more fun to share.  We get accolades in the form of "likes" and nice comments.  The behind the scenes can be harder and scary to share.  But in being transparent we have the chance to also point to the one who wipes our sins clean and gives us hope in our struggles- Jesus Christ.  Giving HIM the glory!

I am not suggesting we all post to Facebook with every argument in our marriages or every time we are frustrated with motherhood.  Behind the scenes stuff can also be personal and I encourage you to lift your husband and children up, not tear them down (Proverbs 14:1).  But pray for discernment on when to give a little tour of your behind the scenes for the sake of other's security, but more importantly, for the sake of the gospel!