Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Showing Respect to Your Husband

"...and let the wife see that she respects her husband." -Ephesians 5:33

One of the reasons I began blogging was because I just love the insights of other women who, like me, are striving to become more godly women and wives.  Blogs are a path for these women to express ways God is working in their hearts and the expression of these ideas helps God to work in the hearts of others.  More than crafts and decorating, this is what I have enjoyed the most about fellow bloggers. 

Chris and I went to a marriage conference this weekend (with Kirk Cameron...ahhhh teen heartthrobs....I digress).  We had been through pre marital counseling and have heard sermons on marriage before.  And this conference did not necessarily present anything new to us.  But I don't think you can ever hear enough what God's plan is for marriage.  Throughout everything we have read and heard, the theme that always resonates with me is just how much God calls us to live out the love and respect we have for each other through actions- going beyond the oooey gooey feelings- even when we don't want to.

I started following Faith's blog today and a previous post she had written reminded me of how imperative it is that we, as wives, live out, daily, the respect we are called to have for our husbands.  It is not enough to say we have respect for him, he needs to see it and feel it.  This, in turn, opens a door for God (not ME) to work in my husband's heart.  I just had to share this list she got from a book she is reading, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jayne.

1. Do not talk down to him
2. Do not talk badly about him to others
3. Do not check behind him to make sure he did something to your standard
4. Do not disregard his wishes
5. Do not ignore his requests
6. Do not laugh at his mistakes
7. Do not make him the brunt of your jokes
8. Do not compare him to other men
9. Do not complain about your finances or his ability as a provider
10. Do not speak sarcastically or with verbal jabs
11. Do not roll your eyes when he makes comments you don't agree with
12. Do not continually "have a better idea"
13. Do talk to him in a pleasant tone
14. Do speak highly or compliment him in front of others
15. Do allow him to do tasks his own way and then thank him when he is finished
16. Do value his opinions
17. Do support his decisions
18. Do try to fulfill his requests
19. Do thank him for providing for your family
20. Do allow him to make final decisions
21. Do support him in his decisions regardless of the outcome
22. Do avoid the words, "I told you so"
23. Do take care of your appearance
24. Do ask his opinion about your clothes/hairstyle etc...
25. Do tell him you are proud of him

 So many of them seem so...obvious, true.  But I know if I truly evaluate myself and my interactions with my husband, I fail at so many of these seemingly simple ways to show him respect.  It is an ongoing spiritual battle and satan sets out to convince us we need to manipulate our husbands.  But the beauty of it is we are already equipped with all we need, in Christ, to be the wives God is calling us to be.
Here is a shout out to my handsome husband, who works hard to provide, makes time for me, and is always looking for ways to better our marriage and his role as a husband! I am blessed!


  1. stumbled onto your blog and just wanted to leave you a little blog luv! Def enjoyed reading this post!!


    1. I appreciate the blog love, so thank you!!! And I am glad you enjoyed reading this post...such simple things to act out and check yourself against.

  2. Excellent post today Becky. I just found your blog through a comment you left of Ruthie's and I'm so glad I stopped by. This post was just the little kick-in-the-behind reminder I needed.

    1. That's what I thought when I read Faith's blog. Again, this is why I love blogging so far...you can be so inspired by other women! Thanks Heather!

  3. What a truly great post! I am getting married in a few weeks and I hope to have a God honering marriage. This such great advice :) Thank you.

    1. I have loved YOUR insights on marriage as you prepare for it, especially with focusing on the marriage and not the wedding. So many women feel that pressure to focus on their one and only day...and not their one and only husband. That being said, enjoy your wedding and soak in EVERY minute! You are going to make a gorgeous bride!

  4. what a sweet sweet post!! and it is all so true. the Bible is the perfect guidebook for marriages and it is always spot on of course because it is directly from God

    1. Isn't that so true?? People spend how much money on books about marriage, when all they need to do is study the bible.

      When Chris and I talked about how we hadn't heard anything "new" at the conference we attended, we also commented that this is how we knew we were exposing ourselves to sound teaching based on God's unchanging word. If we heard something different each time, it would more than likely be because of the varied opinions of others. Sorry, that was a little bit of a tangent!

      Thanks for the encouragement, Meg!

  5. I love what Meg said! Took the words right out of my mouth really! I agree this post is wonderful and so inspiring!
    And Kirk Cameron?! I just got really excited, would love to hear him speak, especially about faith!

  6. Becky I love this post! So many of those you posted I hate to admit, I am guilty of. God has been speaking to me and telling me I need to be more aware of what comes out of my mouth, because that is from my heart... speaking about my husband in a more positive way is what I have been working on.. never talking bad about him shows him and others, that I love him and respect him!
    You should check out this wonderful blog.. I love these ladies and I am there unofficial spokeswoman! lol
    www.theimperfectwives.com and you can find them on FB The Imperfect Wives.
    I love these ladies and their heart for marriages!!

    Oh.. and I know this link won't work right, probably like the one above, but this is the app I got for 'Jesus Calling' I love it!!

  7. Your blog is looking great! This post is a fantastic start to what I know God is going to use in many people's lives. I have come to learn that marriage is a huge part of ministry in our culture today. I can be the best blogger, speaker, writer, teacher, and even be sharing the gospel through those ministries, but if my marriage is not on track, my testimony is shot! Keep up the good work sister :)

  8. This is an amazing post! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and commenting so I can come by!
    I too started my blog with a different idea in mind and it has been great to see where God is taking it. I am very small but when I can, I like to share how amazing God is and the things he is teaching me.
    Thank you again for coming by!!

  9. This is so great! My hardest one is #3. I always want to check (whatever anyone does) to make sure it meets my standards...my dad used to say, "Do you want it done, or do you want it done your way?" When I said "My way" I got stuck doing it! Ha!

    But truly - a great post. Bookmarking this for future reference.


Your comments make me smile and often encourage me. Thanks for chatting with me!