Heading South

You know how in life it is very common to think to yourself "once (insert milestone here) happens, life will slow down".  I am so guilty of always trying to obtain that "thing" that will bring me more contentment.  God knows this.  Chris is the same way.  And we are married so you know the big man is going to hit this one hard.

And so he has!

Early last year, when I was about to pop with Lydia, Chris and I started rehashing an idea that had come up earlier in our marriage and shoved to the back burner when we moved to Des Moines from Chicago- the idea of Chris working as a faculty member at an optometry school.

Here is some background for you.  While he was in residency, Chris also taught/over saw students in the clinic environment as well as instructed in some labs.  Since residency, Chris has written and published several papers and given a handful of lectures.  Needless to say he has a passion and a true gift for teaching.

So this idea of Chris working for a school started popping up again.  We prayed on it but maybe not with as much intention as we should have.  We would talk about it, drop it, talk about it, drop it.  Then last fall, we realized we were just scared.  We had become comfortable with our new little family of 3, our social life, our jobs...just about everything and the fear of picking up everything and moving was keeping us investing in God's will- whatever it may be.

But we knew full well the promise Jesus provided for us in John 12:25:

Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

So with much more earnest prayer, Chris sent resumes out to a few schools.  We were praying and trusting that God would make it abundantly clear what his will was for us.

The next morning Chris heard back from the Southern College of Optometry in Memphis.  They wanted to do a phone interview with him, having 1 spot open in the exact department Chris would want to work in- ocular disease.  The end of September, Chris had his phone interview and by the middle of October we were in Memphis for an in person interview.

It happened fast and it happened easily but that is not to say I believe that God makes his will known through the path of least resistance.  Throughout the bible we are able to see just how hard the path which follows God can be.  From Abraham to the disciples- we have examples how difficult it really can be to seek the Lord's will.  The road maybe rough, but it is the only one without end.  I am not saying I know what it feels like to be persecuted in the least.  But, I do know that this impending decision would be extremely hard on our hearts, no matter how much things just happened to fall into place- which is precisely what happened.

I knew in the my heart they would love Chris and would see a very intelligent and passionate person and I had no doubt Chris would get the job.  The hard part to me was working through the "What is right for a our family?" thoughts.  Chris and I had thrown around pro after con and con after pro about any part of the situation.  It was daunting.

We truly enjoyed our time in Memphis and actually liked the area more than we thought we would.  I am not going to lie, the things I had heard about Memphis were not overly flattering but I my assumptions were wrong.  Just like any larger city, there are parts to try to stay away from but we lived in Chicago so are used to this idea.  As we drove around the suburbs and took in some of the sights, it became more and more a place I could see us living.  And I will tell you what, Lydia loved it!  Yes, yes I know she is a baby so how could she love a certain city?  Well, in true southern fashion, we couldn't walk by someone without them wanting to talk to our little girl and Lydia, being the flirt she is, just took it in with that little bashful smile I love.

The night before Chris' interview we went out to eat with some of the faculty members and it meant a lot to me they wanted me and Lydia to come too.  Chris fit right in with them all.  The next day during his interview, I was texting my brothers telling them to tell me it is okay if we move to Memphis.  With some big brother teasing thrown in there, they supported us 100%- just like I knew they would.  This support was needed because when I picked up Chris from his interview (it lasted all day), I could see in his eyes he liked what he saw.  The doctor he had done most of his interviewing with, Dr Reich, asked me if I wanted a tour of the school as well.  This again, scored points with me as it was made apparent Dr Reich knew this would be big for Lydia and me as well.

My sweet little lunch date during Daddy's interview

Less than a week later Chris was officially offered the job after being told it would probably be a couple weeks. All the details we needed to be met financially and benefits wise were there.  But, we decided to throw out the pro and con list and really try to focus on what God was telling us.  We could go all day long on what is best for our family but in the end, God knows and we knew we could trust Him not only to guide us, but to make His ways known.

With it being laid on his heart to do so, Chris accepted.  And with his signature on the dotted line, we officially made the hardest decision of our life.

Chris could start at anytime really, but they needed him at the latest July 1st.  If we didn't sell our house by then, we would have either had to rent it out from 10 hours away or just pay the mortgage while we continued to keep it on the market.  Shamefully, this was a huge stressor.  And I say shamefully because I am not sure how many times God needs to prove himself to us before we will know we do not need to worry about these things.

Chris had started finishing the basement earlier last year and just as the carpet was being put in, we put it on the market by owner.  We are so thankful for this timing as we knew selling houses with finished basements usually go easier.  However, we put our house up around Thanksgiving, the worst possible time to actually sell a house.  But prayed every night for a fast sell and tried to focus on all the other ways God had shown us he was blessing this move.  But as our human nature took over, we were disheartened without much interest through Christmas.  We had a couple showings, but that was it.  Houses started popping up for sale all over our neighborhood (odd considering it was December) with nearly our exact price and these were not FSBO so were advertised much more.  In an attempt to push aside my fears, I told Chris "well, the bigger the challenge, the more glory God gets".

The day after Christmas, barely 6 weeks after putting our house up for sale a couple who had looked earlier in the month called to say they sold their house and wanted to come look again.  Within 24 hours we had an agreed upon offer.  Whoa...

We were so incredibly thankful for this answered prayer of a fast sell and know it was further confirmation we were making the right choice.

So this February, Chris, Lydia and I are making our way from the corn fields of Iowa to Memphis, Tennessee to see what the Lord has planned for us there.  I am amazed at the things he continues to teach us, but I think what I am already learning more is that my contentment, my joy, is not to be found in anything in the world- but in Him alone.

My inner dialogue throughout this process has sounded like this: "I just wanted to know if we are staying or going, then I will feel better;  I just want to have someone look at our house, then I will feel better; I just want to sell our house; then I will feel better; I just want to get over the inspection; then I will feel better;  I just want closing to be over; then I will feel better."

It. Never. Ends.

And it never will if I keep placing something as heavy as my contentment and peace in the hands of something as fragile as this life and its ever changing circumstances.  Praise the Lord, I can go to Christ to fulfill these needs- my rock and redeemer.

I say this has been the hardest decision of our life but at the same time it has been one of the easiest as God has faithfully shown us the way and has been so good in our doubts and fear.  Because we know our future is safe with Him, we are excited to see what is to come!

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

And just because...the only other picture I took while in Memphis.  But more to come!

Baby Belly Laugh

Because everyone needs a little baby belly laugh to go with their day!

This was taken in Chicago and I have watched it several times.  Hearing your baby laugh- is there ANYTHING sweeter?

Build Into Each Other

The body of Christ is a powerful thing made powerful by Christ himself.  I have been a witness to this throughout my life but never more so than the past year and a half as God has graciously blessed Chris and I with a church home filled with Christ followers who truly desire to spread and live out the gospel- the good news.

Within this body, I have met several women I have come to admire.  Not because they are well liked.  Not because they know how to put an outfit together.  Not because they are beautiful.  Not because they seem to have it all together.  But because they truly seek to fulfill what Paul teaches in Titus 2-

Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Titus 2:3-4.  

This was recently the theme verse for a ladies event at our church, High Pointe.  Our speaker, Teresa Bair, was a missionary from Brazil on a year long furlough with her family.  She described the need for us women to "build into each other".  I have been dwelling on this phrase over and over again.  As Christians, we have a firm, solid rock of a foundation in what Christ has done for us.  Anything that is built on it will not be shaken.  This life will hurl rocks at it, but it will remain.  All the encouragement, lessons, examples which point others to Christ is only building onto the rock our faith is placed on.  

I am grateful to have ladies in my life who are building into me as I learn more and more just how strong my foundation, my savior, truly is.  I am the younger woman.  And you know what, I always will be.  When I am 60 I will still need the body of Christ to build into me.  But as I age physically, Lord willing, I hope to age spiritually and build into women coming after me.  

As we referred to it at our event- we need to "Titus 2" each other!

You're a good mom...

I saw this yesterday and had to post:

To the mom who's breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You're a good mom. 

To the mom who's formula feeding: Isn't science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn't produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You're a good mom.

To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You're a good mom.

To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it's excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You're a good mom.

To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn't easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You're a good mom.

To the mom who works: It's wonderful that you're sticking to your career, you're a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it's fantastic. You're a good mom.

To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you're too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You're feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren't complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You're a good mom.

To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they're learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can't run around. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don't they? We've all been through it. You're a good mom.

To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.

It is no secret that motherhood comes with a whole host of decisions that invite criticism and completely unsolicited advice.  I experienced this when I was pregnant and even more so now that Lydia is on the outside.  As wonderful and fulfilling as motherhood is (I seriously love it!)- there is so much more to it than I personally ever thought and I am sure I am not the only one.  It is hard enough having this person depend solely on you and your spouse without having others question your every move.  

But this is where I land whenever I am feeling inadequate as I look at other parenting styles- God chose ME to be Lydia's mom.  And God chose YOU to be your child's mother.  Isn't that awesome?  Rely on Him, friend.  

On the flip side, I have been blessed with many friends and even by the other mommies I barely know with loving, thoughtful and non-judgmental advice and I am so thankful for that!   I take what they say to heart.  

The reason we struggle with insecurity...

A few weekends ago I had the privilege of attending a ladies retreat.  The theme was joy.  And can't we all use reminders of true joy from time to time?  And as a new mother, experiencing both incredible amounts of joy and exhaustion alike, this was very timely for me.

I could write many posts on the wonderful lessons learned from our speaker, Teske Drake, but there was one topic she spoke on that my mind keeps coming back to.  The topic of insecurity.

I struggle with insecurity.  Insecurity about my appearance.  My roles in life.  In my relationships.  My personality.  My abilities.

And I don't think I am alone.

Teske shared a quote with us ladies that turned a light bulb on for me:

Oh so true!  Can I get an amen?! 

And just how easy does social networking make it?  Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram are basically a never ending highlight reel of others' lives.  So many, if not all, of my insecurities stem from comparing myself to others- especially to what I often perceive as "perfection".

But the truth is that we are "perfectly and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:13).  I think we often respond to this with an "oh, that's great, but..." attitude.  I know I do!  We don't seriously contemplate and rest on the fact that you ARE made for a wonderful, divine purpose that only you can fulfill.  And the best part of this is God wants to use both your highlight reel and your behind the scenes to bring Him glory! Yes, the highlight reel is more fun to share.  We get accolades in the form of "likes" and nice comments.  The behind the scenes can be harder and scary to share.  But in being transparent we have the chance to also point to the one who wipes our sins clean and gives us hope in our struggles- Jesus Christ.  Giving HIM the glory!

I am not suggesting we all post to Facebook with every argument in our marriages or every time we are frustrated with motherhood.  Behind the scenes stuff can also be personal and I encourage you to lift your husband and children up, not tear them down (Proverbs 14:1).  But pray for discernment on when to give a little tour of your behind the scenes for the sake of other's security, but more importantly, for the sake of the gospel!

A little about Lydia

Our little Lydia certainly is already showing quite the personality and I am enjoying learning more and more about this little person everyday.  And I know I am biased, but the personality that is emerging is just plain sweet!  

Here are some things about our little Lydi:

- She looks just like her daddy! And of course Chris just loves this!  She has my nose so far and my fingers.  Besides that, she is alllll daddy!

Baby Daddy 

Baby Lydia

- She EATS like her daddy!  While I was pregnant I read up on breast feeding as much as I could but Lydia honestly just had it down already.  Fifteen mins after she was born she took right to nursing and I was so thankful.  She hasn't stopped since!  This girl loves her food and is becoming quite the little chunk because of it.  She was born at 8 lbs 10 oz and was 8 lbs 2 oz when when left the hospital.  At 2 weeks she was already 9 lbs.   I absolutely LOVE the cheeks and rolls.

Love the rolls!

- She is a very loud sleeper.  I know a lot of babies are and maybe she is pretty normal in the area- I have never had a newborn sleeping in the room next to me so what do I know.  But we hear everything from grunts to squeals to whimpers coming through the monitor and while she sleeps during the day.  I keep trying to get a good video of this but always miss the best sounds.

- She has many faces!  Again, I keep trying to snap pics of them all but never get my camera in time.  I will compile them sometime.  But my favorite face by far is this one:

- She is so curious!  Many people have commented how alert she but she is also very engaged with her surroundings.  When she is focusing in on my and Chris' faces she will try to mimic what we are doing.  She will often stick her tongue out or try to smack her lips when we do.  She prefers to sit up to see what is going on around her and because of this she already has pretty darn good head control.  I have told Chris that I think she is going to be a stinker to put down when she is older because already, at 3 weeks, she will do things to wake herself up when she is falling asleep like kick her feet.  I think it is because, again, she is so curious!  I have been told newborns shouldn't be awake more than an hour at a time.  Well our little girl was about for almost 4 hours this morning and it wasn't because of lack of being rocked.  Yes she would whine when she was hungry or when we put her down for what she thought was too long but that time is usually filled with exploring what is going on around her or staring/smiling at me and Chris- making it impossible to put her down.

Trying to stick her tongue out because daddy did it first

Was fussy until momma sat her up

And just for the heck of it, here are some more cute pictures!

Love my play mat

Hi dad!

Not too sure about what's going on

I know she is crying in this picture, but it still makes me smile because she is so cute when she cries- don't judge

Onesie from Andrea and Brandon who are living in Germany right now

I know I am camera happy!

Lydia's first week home!

While we were in the hospital, I tried to accept as much help as possible.  Despite my heavy heart as they wheeled her away at night, we had Lydia go to the nursery at night so we could catch as much sleep as possible.  We also asked every question possible- even ones we were pretty confident we had the answers to.  We also took full advantage of room service and the refreshment room!

However, after our 2 day stay both Chris and I were ready to get home.  We couldn't wait to introduce Samson to Lydia and to just simply start this new, precious time in our life.  So we headed home and started treasuring Lydia's "firsts".

First car ride and first time "seeing" home:

First meeting with big brother Samson:

Momma giving baby girl "the tour" and showing Lydia her room!

First nap on the couch with daddy:

First spit up on daddy:

First bath at home:

She eventually really like it!

She just melts my heart!

 

 First outing (to the pediatricians):

First time daddy picked out her outfit:

Snuggling with Uncle Kyle:

First time meeting Uncle Craig and cousin Sydney:

First time meeting her future husband, Cade (yes he is proposing to her with a ring pop and yes we had this planned for a long time):

First roughhousing with daddy:

First walk:

Lydia has added more joy to our lives than we thought possible and we are trying to soak up every moment we can!  We know these "first" moments will be missed if we don't pay close attention.  Praying God gives us continual wisdom so we remember this.